iw_cm: free cm_id resources on the last deref

iw_cm: free cm_id resources on the last deref

Remove the complicated logic to free the iw_cm_id inside iw_cm
event handlers vs when an application thread destroys the cm_id.
Also remove the block in iw_destroy_cm_id() to block the application
until all references are removed.  This block can cause a deadlock when
disconnecting or destroying cm_ids inside an rdma_cm event handler.
Simply allowing the last deref of the iw_cm_id to free the memory
is cleaner and avoids this potential deadlock. Also a flag is added,
IW_CM_DROP_EVENTS, that is set when the cm_id is marked for destruction.
If any events are pending on this iw_cm_id, then as they are processed
they will be dropped vs posted upstream if IW_CM_DROP_EVENTS is set.

Signed-off-by: Steve Wise <swise@opengridcomputing.com>
Signed-off-by: Doug Ledford <dledford@redhat.com>